Jason Lipeles
i don't want to write that poem
matana tells me to write a poem about the way matzah is like anxiety like jews didn’t have time were so anxious they couldn’t let the bread rise and so we have to eat their anxiety to remember the anxiety and some orthodox jews make the matzah extra bad so that they really taste the anxiety and i appreciate that to a certain extent but i don’t want to eat anxiety. i forgive myself for not wanting to eat anxiety. 8 26 22 sarah asked me to send her the poem via email. she laughs and says “i relate. that’s all except for the forgiveness which makes it jason-y” i think jason-y is maybe too cute or something but i keep it in otherwise it won’t make sense. do i forgive more than others? yes 8 28 22 i also said my new form of poetry is anxiety porn. rachel zucker also writes about the anxieties of life, motherhood, being a poet, jealousy, queerness, whiteness, jewishness. i think her word is anxiety.
i haven’t made anything with my hands—ancestors making pyramids and what have i made—poems what are poems but failed pyramids?
i tell my friend that i was listening to rachel zucker’s podcast and kaveh akbar and her were talking about what their word would be as a poet. and she started to say something and i knew it in my head the word would be “anxiety” and kaveh said maybe the word should be “generosity” because she’s sharing her feelings but i think her word is anxiety and what a beautiful word with its characteristic zing! anxiety is a pool of words unto itself. and i am not running from it and you shouldn’t either. unless you really don’t like the feeling in your body or you don’t relate to it culturally? i don’t know; this is what i got. 8 28 22 after talking to sarah, my friend who i share all of my small anxieties with.
i haven’t made anything with my hands—ancestors making pyramids and what have i made—poems what are poems but failed pyramids?
i tell my friend that i was listening to rachel zucker’s podcast and kaveh akbar and her were talking about what their word would be as a poet. and she started to say something and i knew it in my head the word would be “anxiety” and kaveh said maybe the word should be “generosity” because she’s sharing her feelings but i think her word is anxiety and what a beautiful word with its characteristic zing! anxiety is a pool of words unto itself. and i am not running from it and you shouldn’t either. unless you really don’t like the feeling in your body or you don’t relate to it culturally? i don’t know; this is what i got. 8 28 22 after talking to sarah, my friend who i share all of my small anxieties with.
Jason Lipeles (he/him) is a writer, video artist, and human-being-with-feelings. He co-founded the ee!, a space for loving responses to zines and artbooks, with Marcella Green. He is an alumnus of Image Text Ithaca MFA; Reciprocity Artist Retreat; and Institute for Jewish Creativity. His chapbook, Letters to M., a finalist for the Chautauqua Janus Prize, was published by Pilot Press in 2021. Currently, he is the Production Manager at Foglifter and a PhD candidate in Creative Writing at the University of Denver.